I never loved you.

That day with some tears , she came to him and said, I feel sorry to you for being so helpless , I am sorry, I know you love me a lot and i really don’t need any evidence as I can feel it,

but I never loved you dear ,

yes this is what the truth is, I just wanted to be their with you till my parents search someone for me to get married,

yes I never loved you, I just acted to be in love with you, I loved your company and everything you did for me ,

yes I never thought About this day, but I should have thought about it,

I am very bad I know,

but this is what the truth is,

I just wanted to get along in a busy status of relationship till my marriage as my friends were teasing me for living a life without boyfriend,

so I did all that for which I am feeling sad.. I know I played with your emotions… But I am sorry..

As I know you have been serious for me and I was just doing it for fun and showoff. I am sorry ,it is really bad and embarrassing…

And the guy was listening without believing….

With some tears and confusion.

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***Don’t Play with Emotions..

***How should the guy react to it ? And what would be your reaction if you find yourself at such situation?

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Even I accepted their lies.

They asked me few things about an issue, actually they wanted me to answer it either in a spicy way or they wanted to put me in some troublesome state,

I smilingly said why you people are asking me this.? Don’t you believe their stated truths, Or you feel that I need to say my version.

They said we want to know your side.

I replied, There is no my side or their side, there is truth and their false.

So you have to see what you take from their talks,

We don’t believe them, they said.

I answered I believe them, as I don’t care about anything now , I have nothing to loose. And they may be putting the right things forward, I don’t know what they are saying though, but even I accepted their lies, I can’t do much either.

As even don’t know the real truth. And I have nothing to do with the truth now, as they did what they wanted to, and the damage couldn’t be recovered ever, but yes they have been good in chopping and presenting things in their suited way.

But, I don’t have any interest in giving justification to anyone, or to put my side on the issue. As I am not here to prove Anything to anyone, I know my side I am right by best of thoughts, and deep down they also know what is right and what is not right, who is culprit and who is not, and above all there is someone who knows everything and he is looking at everything, to whom we call Almighty, The God,

Moreover I heard that, they are too good and the world is too bad ,and I am too bad and the world is too bad , as per the talks what I came to know from the people in between me and them.

Anyways We all are going to pay for the deeds we do , if not today then tomorrow for sure.

if you are good you will receive good things from god , if bad then you have to be ready for the outcome, you can’t get away from your punishments.

So , I don’t care what they are saying as I am only answerable to the god , but in my case it’s God who has to answer me, as he may don’t have any question and I have many to ask him. And it would start from Why me? ?

I hope i will get the answer,!!!

Anyways you are free to think and consider me anything you want as liberty is there for everyone.

But my identity is best known to me and god. Likewise truth is better known to God , culprit and victim.

But if they say I am culprit , then yes I am culprit . nothing to objectify or even feel bad. As they are not the decision makers . so why to think or care about it.

Then they smiled and said you said nothing in particular but said everything.

And I smiled back.

Thank you for reading.

Pray for me.

It is nervousness or anxiety , I don’t know….

but it is something which is hitting my heart and mind,

I think my heart is not willing to accept myself as a failure and somehow my mind has came to a conclusion of compensatory happiness.

Being amongst the losers with some reasons, explanations , and of course few excuses has been the story so far,

Loosing without a trial with lot of distractions and few strong barriers are something with which I am dealing from years,

LOSER, is a big tag.

And I think I am accepting it somewhere in my heart with sadness, its not that I never had the ingredients to conquer, but it has been somehow my negligence with some hard lucks, obligations and poor decisions.

Yes it has affected me, my dreams, my aspirations, my happiness and my searching satisfaction.

I am good at this and that but not enough stabilized to put it for some productive outcome ,

Outcome in context of success, And successful satisfaction.

I hate the confusion, hate that a lot as it ruined me, still I feel a compensatory choice I preferred for sustainment.

As sustainment is an important thing I dared to avoid it once and paid the price for that dare,

so may be I am not good at dreaming or my dreams are just dreams I should not try to feel and live it, I figured out.

Yes it is saddens you at your heart , and you start questioning your own life,

like may be god has made me for this and not that and I am trying to hard to go beyond god’s decision.

Anyways I Still feel sad when people come and say you have been so good ,

you could have done this and that with ease, you should have been there we always felt that you are something different and thought you to be at some high to look,

we still have high expectations,

you can still start and deliver with ease, you have the spark , you just have to focus and focus at like everything, we still have high expectations from you.

And listening all that makes me feel so bad for being so unjustified to their expectations,

it feels good to have high expectations but it breaks you into pieces when they themselves say you spoiled it man with your own, and failed and you are a loser!

And then our mind and heart have some serious sadness with which we may not cope up.

As it takes us to negativeness, when you start comparing yourself with your expectations and with your contemporaries. And you find yourself now where.

You actually fail when you question your self or start thinking more than you should.

But having being said that,

I think life gives you chances to bounce back and roll it like a boss,

I am still seeking and trying to find out that one chance to make it appropriate with my life and the people around it.

I hope god has left one more good thing to share and hopefully I would accept it without any blunders this time.

Pray for me.

Thank you

Bad at Response.

Good Afternoon Guys,

Today I am here with something to discuss which you may like , or may not but let’s discuss it.

Guys, we often see such people in our daily life who have the tendency of speaking more and also speaking less, and it actually varies from individual to individual as per their own choices,

But there is one other kind of people who speak relevantly good but have the tendency of showing disinterest to your talks, they will be available to you but with half of their heart, even if they are not half hearted but there traits will make you think so,

they will give smiles, as reply, they may give you one liners sometimes even one words, they make reaction with expressions, they may listen but pretends to not listen, or they will change the topic at their will, which is actually disheartening to the individual who is eagerly waiting for a respected response,

It actually makes you think that this man/woman don’t want to talk or may be not interested to talk or may have some attitude issues. Which is very much okay by their observations, as they are receiving such vibes from the other end so they may presume that,

Even I don’t want to be in a conversation where the individual is finding words on instalments, I speak with my heart and also with a reason, and want the partner to speak well, and react whenever needed, not sure how you people think about it,

But my opinion is this , and to have a healthy conversation, the two individual should have enough interest to speak and listen, one should not speak alone and vice versa.

And it has nothing to do with the choice of context or with the subject of talks, they have the tendency of speaking in that way as they prefer it, regardless of the subject of talks.

Of course I am not saying that everyone is blessed with good speaking skills or talkativeness, but it is not about the limited skills or the other, the individuals who act unavailable or who react late or selective with responses are actually Bad at listening skills and of course with the speaking skills, even with the reactive skills ,

they should learn and improve, as it is actually a graveyard for themselves, as they are actually creating barriers between their loved ones with bits and pieces of words.

Like they sound RUDE,FAKE,And ANNOYING!

And someone with really bad Etiquettes,

And no one prefers to talk with a person who has 3-4 words for every single thing you say, or may prefer to talk when it is needed the most with some sadness.

This is what I feel , Don’t know Right or wrong,

Do share your opinions if you feel so.

Thank you

Both are important.

Well most of my friends are unhappy with me,

They find me Annoying,

They call me everything what they hate,

They say I am unavailable being available to them,

They say you can’t be like this to us,

I try to convince them,but they don’t listen,

They are Right in their ways, I have to be with them if I am with them,

But I am with my love interest,

If not being next to her always then through my phone,

I feel good for the fact that she feels good when I am connected to her either next to her with holding a hand or through calls or even chats,

My friends don’t like my life style and priority,

But I don’t want to see her sad, as she feels sad and bad when I don’t message or call her and don’t lift her call,

I lie her sometimes that yes you wished me the first birthday wish, though sometimes she is second as my mother wishes before than her may be a fraction of second earlier,

Even if its a lake or I am at some public place I text her, as she wants to feel the ambiance with me and my words. I like it, its not that I am not enjoying it.

But its a cheat with my friends.

She enjoys everything of my talks ,

Even my sick poor cheap jokes, at which no one can laugh.

And of course my way of care,

She just love talking to me,

She says ” I will be fine I don’t need a doctor, you are the doctor and the medicine is our conversation.” When she gets sick.

I Remember that ,

I talked to her through calls and texts for around 20hrs continuously with a charger plugged in, whenever needed.

She loved the gesture, and even felt good to be with her when she needed me.

I have to talk as she my love and I can’t see her sad,

After knowing that her sadness is my unavailability and lesser communication.

But what to do with my friends ,they are not wrong either.

They want me as their friend as I have been,

She asks me to pick one sometimes,

somehow I skip the question with an ice cream or some deep discussion about my career, but i am worried with the picking of one.

I may pick her over them by being a selfish lover but I wouldn’t be Happy with that, I know as my friends are also important .!

Love them and Love her also. Both have their importance but yes one priority is not happy when I am with the another priority.

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***We can’t decide who comes first and who is second, of course it’s both which make us what we want to be, so its important to make them understand their importance in our life, one can’t be another and vice versa. Both are differently important in life. It’s harsh and unfair to pick and choose.

Loving Ghost

Yes he kissed her as she sleeps next to him every night,

And in the morning he takes his breakfast with her.

As she loves to cook for him and watch him eating,

He make few cups of coffee which they enjoy with a kiss .

She comes and goes,

she is not scary but yes she is the ghost who thinks and treats him as her boyfriend,

though he told her that I am not the one but she says let it be I like you as i used to like my boy friend,

Also he asked about her that why she is ghost now, and what went wrong with her,

she said she murdered her boyfriend and committed suicide as she caught him with another girl,

And she had been brutally betrayed by her boyfriend.

She likes him because he looks like him ,

but he is single and lives just next to the room where they lived.

And more ever he also failed in love with same kind of situation though he preferred to let her live with him,

So there is a connection of being cheated by their loved ones but both had different approach to it.

Anyways,

She just wears the normal clothes like jeans T – shirts, etc like any other young girl not like the ghosts of the movies,

yes her voice is dual and of course she has some amplitude at it.

And She could smile and cry at the same time,

She likes romantic movies. And prefer playing carom.

She has the most beautiful eyes and even more beautiful smile.

She is friendly to him but he don’t know how to tell her that she is a different spirit now,

he can’t love her like she wants,

Ghost and human can’t be the lovers,

she says one day when the god would be kind enough on her she would happily leave the world but by then he has to be her love interest,

He thinks he don’t have any other option as he can’t find a way to escape also he has generated some kind of sympathy for her.

May be because of her love failure And the betrayal.

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That’s it.!!!

Stories and many more!

Ok , so years ago I was too young and considerably a kid, (I am still a kid but not as per physical appearance 🙂 )

So I was a kid about 4 – 5 years and my family took me to school for the very first time , which was more like having new pair of shoes a good school bag few new friends and of course a delicious tiffin box daily for me, in short I was like any other kid not aware of that why I am going to school and all,

so I still remember the very first day of my school, I did everything like a good boy, like well mannered etc ,

my father used to have a moped called kinetic Luna by then,which he still have of course in working condition,

So, I stood in the front of Luna with my choice as I like, winds & hair flyings passing by and my brother was sitting on the back side.

We both have been always in the same class as he was forced to leave his school by my parents and attend my school as I have been the most pampered kid, so he restarted his schooling with me from KG-1 level from a reputed school of the town,

Though we never looked same but few thought we were twins ,but we were not.

So , we three were going it was about 2- 3kms from my house, I was very happy as I was crazy for a bike ride at that age.

Then, The school came, and I was asked to enter the school my brother gone towards the gate and I was still not interested to go,

I said I won’t go my father took me towards the gate and I just refused and did every possible thing like crying and running which may have been like shameful for my dad as all the kids and the parents were looking at him,

he was really embarrassed with that, he tried everything but failed!

suddenly I looked at the shop next to the school and was looking at a cake in the jar, which could be Of 2 – 5 Rs maximum.

my father saw that bought it for me And my brother, I took that and never gave it to my brother, i entered the gate of my school and in the first period itself I ate my tiffin and of course the cake,

and this is how it has been for years. I entered the school like I never had an issue of going , we need something to eat whenever we have been asked to study or to go school isn’t it?

I am still thankful to the shopkeeper who was there and for having that cake.

As it has made my dad’s life easier by then. And even I started going to school regularly as I had friends later,

And I still remember that I used to eat my friends tiffin without sharing them at all 😀 .

This is how it has been for the next few years of schooling till I was pressurized for homework.

Thank you.

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OK so let me know should I continue such tales of my life or not.

And yes I shared the same story of my life in the farewell speech of my school, which was appreciated by every other teacher and friends of mine.

Yesterday kids were going to school in front of my house, some were crying and some were eating like they don’t care what will happen at school, so I recollected everything of my life from that portion.

Hope you guys liked it.

Good Day.